Remy: Regulate (FTX Parody)

In the wake of the FTX meltdown and crypto price drops, Congress wants to make sure Remy makes good financial decisions…just like them.

Parody of Warren G’s “Regulate” written and performed by Remy; video produced by Meredith and Austin Bragg

LYRICS:

It was a clear black night, he was sitting at home
Looking at a JPEG on his trusty iPhone
It was a rare NFT of a hipster mouse
So he did what you do, he mortgaged his house

And he put in a bid, he was getting the itch
He couldn’t sit there while he saw those other people get rich
But then the market crashed! The value deflated!
This shouldn’t be allowed—they should regulate it!

He saw a JPEG, it looked in demand
So he mortgaged his house, spent 400 grand
We need to pass new laws to prevent this fate
He wouldn’t be so dumb if we regulate

It was a cool, crisp day, he was watching the game
That’s when he saw a commercial with folks of acclaim
Crypto returns that’ll never default!
So he thought what you think—that sounds too good to be false!

Mortgaged his house, researched the rate
Checked out the CEO, nothing seemed out of place
But when he checked one morning, the value was gone
We should make fraud illegal, this is all just wrong!

He did his research and he studied up
Then bought invisible tokens this guy just made up
It was a harsh consequence for an honest mistake
His IQ wouldn’t be five if we regulate

It was a lukewarm noon, he’s on Capitol Hill
Cuz he got margin called and was facing a bill
You don’t understand, I’ve lost all that I had
You need to pass more laws! This is terribly bad!

Uh, excuse me—thanks for letting me join
But isn’t part of the issue him? There’s a new dog coin?
Maybe the underlying tech is one we shouldn’t forestall
Maybe one day it’s—Shiba Inu, it’s called

If he hadn’t been allowed to be a HODLer
He wouldn’t have the impulse control of a toddler
We could end human nature with a pen stroke today
Why do I have a feeling that they’re gonna regulate?

You shouldn’t prey on folks with financial illiteracy
By the way, have you seen the state lottery?
The Powerball’s $1 billion, you better not wait
He’s gonna make good decisions when we regulate

New FTX CEO Describes 'Complete Failure of Corporate Controls' in Scathing Court Filings

The latest revelations about collapsed cryptocurrency exchange FTX show a company that was even more shambolically managed than was known or even thought possible. “Never in my career have I seen such a complete failure of corporate controls and such a complete absence of trustworthy financial information,” said John Jay Ray III, the new FTX CEO who’s been appointed to oversee the company’s bankruptcy, in Thursday court filings.

Ray, a veteran of corporate bankruptcies including Enron, described the management practices of FTX and its related companies as “unacceptable,” “unprecedented,” and “historical” (but not in a good way).

Sensitive customer information was kept on unsecured email servers. The company lacked a complete record of its bank accounts and a complete list of its employees. Expenses were approved by a shifting group of supervisors, who often signed off on reports with personalized emojis. FTX funds were used to purchase homes and other personal items for company executives, and complete records of those transactions weren’t kept. Company executives also communicated with auto-deleting chat software, making a complete accounting of decisions impossible.

Throughout the filings, Ray stresses that records provided by FTX and its related companies while it was under the control of former CEO Sam Bankman-Fried couldn’t be counted on to be accurate. He also questioned the reliability of audits performed of FTX-linked companies by Prager Metis, an accounting firm that claims to be the “first-ever CPA firm to officially open its Metaverse headquarters in the metaverse platform Decentraland.”

Bankman-Fried resigned from the company he founded last week after concerns over the exchange’s solvency saw customers rush to make withdrawals that the company didn’t have the funds to meet. It’s been reported that Bankman-Fried, a prolific donor to Democratic political campaigns, was loaning billions of dollars of customer deposits to a cryptocurrency trading firm he owns, Alameda Research, to make risky trades.

Thus far, Ray has managed to track down about $740 million in cryptocurrency owned by FTX. The company owes customers a reported $8 billion, reports The New York Times.

Bankman-Fried gained a lot of flattering press attention for his commitment to the utilitarian ideas of philosopher Peter Singer and the related effective altruism movement. His stated plan had been to accumulate a fortune in cryptocurrency in order to give it away to the most effective charitable causes.

In remarkably candid messages to Vox reporter Kelsey Piper earlier this week, Bankman-Fried conceded that his professed support for effective altruism was mostly a front.

His fall from grace has kicked off some intense self-reckoning in the mostly online effective altruism movement.

Some effective altruism proponents have stressed that their consequentialist philosophy of using data to guide charitable giving and prioritizing the greatest good for the greatest number of people shouldn’t be tarred by Bankman-Fried’s alleged fraud and misdeeds.

Others have said that the disgraced CEO’s risky financial dealings could be justified under a more radical effective altruist belief that posits it’s worth taking insane risks if they come with a huge potential upside for human and animal welfare.

A few people on Twitter have even suggested that Bankman-Fried’s confession that his effective altruism was a sham is actually evidence of his sincere belief in the philosophy. By distancing himself from effective altruism, he’s preventing the utility-maximizing moral framework from being disgraced along with him.


FREE MINDS

Reports of Twitter’s death have been greatly exaggerated. As the sun rose on Friday morning, the social media website is still functioning despite fears that the turbulent management of new owner Elon Musk might sink it overnight.

Musk had given Twitter employees a Thursday deadline to explicitly commit to his self-described “hardcore” work ethic and visions for the site or resign with three months severance pay. Hundreds of employees have reportedly resigned already.

Fortune reporter Kylie Robison’s tweets that as much as 75 percent of the company was resigning and that physical access to Twitter headquarters had been cut off led to panicked musing that the site was finished last night.

“Damn Twitter,” “#RIPTwitter,” and “#GoodbyeTwitter” trended briefly last night. Twitter’s continued survival suggests things aren’t quite so dire at HQ. Should the company implode, the dynamic tech sector will surely find another way for us to yell at each other online.


FREE MARKETS

The United Kingdom’s ever-so-brief “libertarian moment” is well and truly over. On Thursday, British Finance Minister Jeremy Hunt unveiled a slew of massive tax hikes to balance the country’s budget. Reports Reuters:

In a bid to restore Britain’s fiscal reputation after the chaos caused by former prime minister Liz Truss’s plans for sweeping tax cuts, Hunt outlined a budget programme on Thursday to save 55 billion pounds a year to fix the public finances. Almost half the belt-tightening is due to come from tax increases.


QUICK HITS

• A new working paper finds that privately financed and operated nonprofits were instrumental in improving England’s road system during the 19th century.

• The Biden administration is moving to shield Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman from lawsuits related to his role in the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, reports the Associated Press.

• The election for the congressional seat currently held by Rep. Lauren Boebert (R–Colo.) is still too close to call and might head to a recount.

• Debris from the ruptured Nord Stream pipelines shows traces of explosives, say Swedish investigators.

• Theranos founder and convicted fraudster Elizabeth Holmes is set to be sentenced today by a federal court in San Jose, California. The disgraced tech CEO is asking for no more than 18 months in prison. Federal prosecutors are seeking a 15-year sentence.

FTX Meltdown and the Future of Crypto: Live With Kraken Co-Founder Jesse Powell

When a cryptocurrency exchange holding $16 billion worth of customer deposits suddenly collapses, what does that portend for the future of the crypto industry? How did Sam Bankman-Fried, the 30-year-old founder of the company and the number two donor to the Democratic party ahead of the recent midterms, win the trust and evade the careful scrutiny of so many venture capitalists, institutional investors, celebrities, and U.S. regulators for so long? Is heavy-handed regulation coming to the world of crypto?

Join Reason‘s Nick Gillespie and Zach Weissmueller this Thursday at 1 p.m. Eastern for a live discussion of these questions and more with special guest Jesse Powell, the co-founder and CEO of Kraken, one of the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchanges. Ask questions or leave comments ahead of or during the stream on the YouTube video above or at Reason‘s Facebook page here.

Photo credit: Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call/Newscom

Bankrupt Crypto Exchange FTX Under Investigation

What’s going on with FTX? The cryptocurrency exchange FTX has filed for bankruptcy amid revelations that it lent billions in customer assets to an affiliated trading firm called Alameda Research. Now its owner—a prominent Democratic donor and supporter of cryptocurrency regulation—is reportedly under criminal investigation.

Both FTX and Alameda Research were owned by Sam Bankman-Fried. Earlier this year, a Fortune magazine headline said he “has been called the next Warren Buffett.” But “now, Bankman-Fried looks, at best, like the original storyline for Michael Saylor of Microstrategy during the Dotcom bust. Or, more likely, like Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos infamy. Or, with increasing plausibility, like a less civic-minded Bernie Madoff,” writes Michael W. Green at Common Sense.

Bankman-Fried’s downfall is bad news for Democrats. He spent a reported $36 million on donations to Democrats this election season, making him “the second-largest donor to Democrats after George Soros,” according to the Financial Times.

What it means for cryptocurrency regulation is less clear. Bankman-Fried and FTX were major proponents of the proposed Digital Commodities Consumer Protection Act (DCCPA), which was introduced in the Senate in August and passed out of the Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs in September. “The whole thing was being spearheaded by Sam and FTX, and their credibility has just been shredded,” Nic Carter, a general partner at Castle Island Ventures, told Fortune.

“While some hoped that legislation like the DCCPA would pass during the lame-duck session after Tuesday’s midterms, [Kristin Smith of the Blockchain Association] said that’s now unlikely, both because Bankman-Fried was a driving force and that policymakers may be more reluctant as they wait for the fallout,” Fortune reports.

But FTX’s implosion could ultimately serve as fodder for those who think cryptocurrency-related businesses need more oversight. “The recent events show the necessity of congressional action,” argued Rep. Patrick McHenry (R–N.C.), the top Republican on the House Financial Services Committee, in a statement. 

The downfall of FTX is at once simple and complicated.

The root cause seems to be simple: poor decisions—bordering on fraud—by Bankman-Fried. As a cryptocurrency exchange, FTX is supposed to hold people’s crypto assets and help them make trading transactions (a service for which it collects a fee). Instead, it lent billions of dollars in customer assets to Alameda Research, a scheme The Wall Street Journal described last week:

FTX Chief Executive Sam Bankman-Fried said in investor meetings this week that Alameda owes FTX about $10 billion, people familiar with the matter said. FTX extended loans to Alameda using money that customers had deposited on the exchange for trading purposes, a decision that Mr. Bankman-Fried described as a poor judgment call, one of the people said.

All in all, FTX had $16 billion in customer assets, the people said, so FTX lent more than half of its customer funds to its sister company Alameda….

FTX paused customer withdrawals earlier this week after it was hit with roughly $5 billion worth of withdrawal requests on Sunday, according to a Thursday morning tweet from Mr. Bankman-Fried. The crisis forced FTX to scramble for an emergency investment.

FTX made a deal to sell to its rival Binance, but Binance backed out, saying the company’s problems were “beyond our control or ability to help.”

Now the U.S. Department of Justice, the Securities and Exchange Commission, and the Manhattan U.S. attorney’s office are reportedly investigating.

Whether or how Bankman-Fried broke the law is more complicated. Lending out customer funds without their consent “is generally forbidden in the regulated securities and derivatives markets,” notes the Journal, but the same rule doesn’t apply when it comes to cryptocurrency. Still, the move may be considered fraud or embezzlement. From the Journal:

“What this will boil down to is, were there deliberate lies to convince depositors or investors to part with their assets?” said Samson Enzer, a former Manhattan federal prosecutor. “Were there statements made that were false, and the maker of those statements knew they were false and made with the intent to deceive the investor?”

Prosecutors also could home in, the lawyers said, on statements Mr. Bankman-Fried made on Twitter last week, when he said FTX was “fine” and customer assets were safe—comments he later deleted.

Jurisdiction in this case is also complicated. FTX is based in the Bahamas, and was previously based in Hong Kong, though it did serve U.S. customers and have a U.S. affiliate.

The details of FTX’s bankruptcy are also complicated. “FTX is what’s known in the industry as a ‘free fall’ bankruptcy,” reports Bloomberg:

More than 130 related companies sought court protection at the end of last week without filing any of the usual court motions or explanatory documents seen in a big US insolvency case. Two days later, the companies’ main court docket contains only a 23-page fill-in-the-blank petition. In nearly every other multi-billion dollar Chapter 11 case in recent years, lawyers quickly file a smattering of routine requests designed to stabilize operations.

In a statement, the company’s new chief executive officer—a man who helped oversee the unwinding of Enron Corp.—told customers that details about the bankruptcy would hit the court docket “over the coming days.”


ELECTION 2022

Democrats retain control of Senate. The victory of incumbent Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto in Nevada means Democrats will continue to control the U.S. Senate next year. Cortez Masto beat Republican Adam Laxalt in a very close race. That means Democrats now have 50 Senate seats and—with the vice president’s tie-breaking vote in play—a Senate majority, no matter what happens in Georgia, where Sen. Raphael Warnock (D–Ga.) and Republican challenger Herschel Walker are heading into a runoff vote.

Several elections for seats in the U.S. House of Representatives are still too close to call. “Republicans were closer to taking the House, having won 211 seats compared to Democrats’ 206, with 218 needed for a majority,” reports Reuters. “But the final outcome might not be known for days as officials continue counting ballots nearly a week after Americans went to the polls.”


FREE MINDS

RIP Sharon Presley and Martin Morse Wooster. Two libertarian luminaries, Sharon Presley and Martin Morse Wooster, passed away recently. Both were contributors to Reason.

Wooster died on November 12 after being struck by a car in a hit-and-run in Williamsburg, Virginia. He was a senior fellow at the Capital Research Center, a journalist, and the author of several books, including Angry Classrooms, Vacant MindsThe Great Philanthropists and the Problem of “Donor Intent”; and Great Philanthropic Mistakes. For a while he served as Reason‘s Washington editor. You can find his extensive Reason archive here.

Presley died on October 31 after a long struggle with various health issues. A longtime libertarian activist, she was the founder of Laissez Faire Books, the founder and executive director of the Association of Libertarian Feminists, and the author or editor of several books, including Exquisite Rebel: The Essays of Voltairine de CleyreYou can find her Reason archive here.


FREE MARKETS

A preview of Scott Lincicome’s new book on how free markets can help American workers:


QUICK HITS

• “Every election denier who sought to become the top election official in a critical battleground state lost at the polls this year, as voters roundly rejected extreme partisans who promised to restrict voting and overhaul the electoral process,” reports The New York Times.

• Arizona Republican Kari Lake looks like she’s losing the Arizona’s governor race.

• There’s no good reason to expand the government-funded school lunch program, argues Baylen Linnekin.

• “Donald Trump’s attorneys filed a lawsuit seeking to block the House January 6 select committee’s subpoena demanding testimony in the investigation into Capitol attack,” reports The Guardian.

• A potted plant could beat a Trump Republican these days, writes J.D. Tuccille.

• Nataša Pirc Musar, a lawyer who has represented Melania Trump, has become the first female president of Slovenia.

• New York Republican George Santos has won a seat in the U.S. House. Santos is the first openly gay non-incumbent Republican to be elected to Congress: